In the grief class that I'm taking, through CASA, we recently learned about STERBs: short term energy relieving behaviors. STERBs are those things that we use to dull or forget our pain. It can be as harmful as alcohol or as innocuous as exercising or watching tv. If those things are being used to keep us from facing our grief (grief is sadness over any loss OR CHANGE, not just death of a loved one), they are unhealthy. I think, however, that sometimes a STERB can be a good thing (obviously NOT drinking or overeating or overspending, etc...). Sometimes we need a short term break from focusing on our pain. I believe that focusing on helping someone else with their situation is a great STERB!
One thing that I have learned in my (almost) 56 years of life is that EVERYONE has "stuff"! Pain is inevitable in this world, and most of us are dealing with a difficult struggle at any given time. If we constantly focus on our "stuff", we never see how much we can help others. Some of the best people to offer comfort to someone in pain are those who have also suffered...or those who are also suffering! Even those with physical limitations can reach out and help others. One of the most physically "challenged" people I know is Heather. Her struggles with lupus and her heart condition, as well as all of the colon and kidney problems that she has, leaves her too weak and in pain to get out and do much. However she has managed on several occasions to help organize and serve at a "soup kitchen". When she can't leave her house, she still manages to pick up the phone to call and encourage others who are struggling or suffered loss. Everyone has something that they can offer to others!
So my encouragement for the day is to not get bogged down in your own pain and struggles, but use the compassion and wisdom that you learn through them to reach out to others.
Philippians 2:1-4 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
