Monday, August 14, 2017

The Lost Art of Hospitality


After a very long hiatus, I decided it was time to resurrect this blog. What made me think of this was sitting at the dinner table at Sheila’s on Saturday. We had gone over to spend the day and work on getting some things ready for Josiah. Sheila cooked us a good lunch of enchiladas and beans (with chips and homemade salsa). I tried to remember the last time that I had been to someone else’s house for a meal (other than for potlucks). I couldn’t remember. That really made me sad, because it showcases how society has changed over the years, and hospitality is becoming a lost art. (I’m not discounting potlucks…they are an especially generous form of hospitality! It is just that entertaining individuals/single families is such a valuable way to truly get to know one another.)

In Romans 12, Paul is talking about the different gifts that we have as Christians and how we should utilize them. One of these gifts is hospitality, which is defined as entertaining strangers, and he says that we should be “given” to hospitality. To be given to something means that we actively pursue it…it doesn’t just happen. This same word is used in the following passage:  Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:1-2 KJV)

In the qualifications of an elder or bishop, one of them is listed as given to hospitality:  A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; (1 Timothy 3:2 KJV). In this verse, the word means a lover of or user of hospitality. Even though this is meant for elders, the qualifications of elders are really just exhibiting a mature level of Christianity. This same word is also used in 1 Peter:  And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. (1 Peter 4:8-9 KJV). I included the preceding verse also, because it is love that drives our hospitality. If we have the fervent love for one another that we should have, we will naturally want to show hospitality to one another.

Dennis and I have always loved to entertain. During our early years of marriage, and while the kids were growing up, we frequently had our house filled with guests. Dennis pushed me to entertain even when I didn’t really want to:  the house wasn’t presentable, we really didn’t have room, I didn’t really feel up to it. I learned through those times that it isn’t about having a nice home or going to a lot of effort to impress people…it was about sharing your home (and hearts) with others. I will NEVER forget the time when we had 60 people over for sandwiches in our 14x56 foot mobile home! I was afraid the walls would blow out! Some of the people may have been offended by being crowded into such a small space (when it was time to offer thanks…afterwards, people spread to the out of doors), but I think most of them just enjoyed spending the time together.

However, as society has changed, so have we…to my dismay and embarrassment. When I look back, it has been over 9 months since I’ve had anyone over for a meal or overnight stay, other than Daddy and Bobbie and my kiddos. That truly shames me! It isn’t that spending time with family isn’t important, because it is.  However, Christians are also our family! When I try to evaluate why it has been so long, the excuses that come up are the same old ones that I struggled with in our earlier years:  the house isn’t fit for company (because of our construction); we don’t have room (also because of construction); or I don’t feel like it (I’ve had my hands full with other things). Why have I forgotten the lessons learned when I was younger? Why do I now feel like I need to impress people rather than just open my home and heart to them?

As much as we try to “be in the world, not of the world”, it is hard to avoid succumbing to the pressures of society. Now, more than ever, social media has tried to convince us that we should all have homes that are showplaces. People don’t just host a meal, they make a presentation out of it so they can post it on Instagram or Facebook. Plus we are all “too busy” to have time to spend time with our brothers and sisters in Christ. It seems to be a challenge for a lot of people to carve out a couple of hours on Sunday to assemble to worship God, much less spend several more hours entertaining one another. Again, I am as guilty as the next person. It is too easy to find excuses for not having folks over for a meal…or just to hang out! Shame on us!

If I’m not worried about what Daddy and Bobbie, or my kids and grandkids, think about coming over to displaced furniture and bare concrete floors and more dust than I’d like to admit on everything; then why should it concern me to have others over under the same conditions? Are people really that shallow that they are only interested in seeing a perfect house, or are they more interested in the sweet fellowship that we can enjoy when we share a meal or have overnight guests? We need to move past this! We need to revive the art of hospitality again!